Lostology 101
by BrittaBug
Summary: The Study Group, Dean Pelton, and Chang get stuck on the Island.      Rated T for violence in later chapters.


**Lostology 101 **

_Chapter 1: Airplane Safety _

Prologue: Jeff, Britta, Abed, Shirley, Annie, Pierce, Troy, The Dean, and Sr. Chang all went to Greendale's sister city in Australia. Upon realizing that 'Dalegreen' is in fact, not a real city in Australia, The Dean, as punishment, refuses to stay in Australia, which was the Study Groups plan. They manage to book seats on Oceanic Flight 816 with the study group in the middle section of the plane and The Dean and Chang in the tail section.

SET. Middle section of Oceanic 816

Britta (turning around to look at the seat behind her): Look Annie, if you have to use the bathroom. Go use the bathroom! Don't force yourself to wait until we land and continue to _kick the back of my chair_.

Shirley (sitting beside Annie): Don't be so mean Britta! But she's right Annie. Common, girl, scoot out of your seat and go to the bathroom, that leg of yours is makin' me twitchy!

Annie: But what if something happens and the bathroom doesn't have a life jacket?

Britta (rolling eyes): Just go! Nothing's going to happen!

Annie: Oh… I don't know… Come with me Shirley! I might get lost!

Shirley (under breath): Lord, help this girl.

[Shirley and Annie walk down the aisle to the front of the plane]

Britta (turning back to the front): When is the flight attendant coming around with snacks? I want a bahgel!

Jeff (reading magazine): Bagel.

Britta: That's what I said 'bahgel'!"

Jeff: No you didn't, you said 'bahgel' it's 'baygel'.

Britta: Bahgel!

Jeff: Bagel!

Abed (from aisle next to Jeff and Britta; leaning on Troy): Tune it down over there, you can play fire-and-ice couple later, Troy is sleeping.

Troy (sleep mumbling): But, I want to ride the whale!

Shirley (coming up the aisle, with Annie on her heels; mumbling): All those bathrooms full up front, my ass. Those flight attendants are probably just hiding from their work. Now Annie and I've got to go all the way to the back!

SET. Tail section of Oceanic 816

The Dean: You there! (Tugs on passing mans pants) Do you know when we'll be landing?

Man: I heard the pilot say that we had to make a quick stop in Fiji about 2 hours ago.

The Dean (nervously): Oh no, oh no. Greendale's probably in turmoil right now!

Chang: Assuming it hasn't been in turmoil our entire trip…

[Shirley and Annie down the aisle to the bathroom in the background]

SET. Middle section of Oceanic 816

Troy (lifting sleeping mask off his face): That was very refreshing. Now, I'm going to go find out if Chang really did fight a volcano while on a trek through Mordor!

Abed: That can't be right. Mordor's in (Troy leaves)… Middle Earth.

Pierce (from the other side of Abed): Ah, don't worry about it Aybed. Troy'll – (falls asleep)

[Plane hits turbulence; pilot flashes 'Seatbelts On' sign]

[Turbulence continues; Bag hits Jeff and knocks him out, Britta clutches her seat in terror, Abed watches it all with mild curiosity; plane breaks into three pieces; zoom up to Abed's face]

Abed: LOST

SET. The crash sight of the middle section.

[Jeff is lying unconscious on the beach; Airplane wreckage is all around him; People are running around screaming; Britta with a large scrape from her forehead to mid-cheek on her face, comes running up]

Britta: Jeff! Jeff! Jeff Winger, so help me I will slap you! Wake up now!

Jeff: Ugh, what happened?

Britta: What happened was a plane crash, now get up and help me find the rest of us!

[Jeff and Britta run through the wreckage calling for their friends; Britta trips over Boone who is trying to resuscitate Rose]

Jeff: He was doing it wrong.

Britta: Doing what wrong!

Jeff: He was performing CPR wrong.

Britta: Then go help him!

Jeff: No, she's probably dead anyway.

Britta: How positive.

[Jeff and Britta stumble upon Abed, trying to climb up the plane]

Jeff: Umm, Abed? What the hell are you doing?

Abed: Trying to scale this plane like Spider-man and find Troy.

Britta: Abed! The planes on fire! Get down!

Abed: What about Troy?

Britta: Troy's probably somewhere near by, Abed. Now please get down!

Abed: Okay, Britta, but you're going to help me find Troy.

Britta: Oh, my god!

Jeff, Abed: What?

Britta: Where's the tail!

Jeff: What tail?

Britta (grabbing Jeff's jacket): The tail of the plane! Annie and Shirley were back there! And so was Troy!

Abed: And Dean Pelton and Senor Chang!

Britta: Yah, well who cares about them? (Frantically) Where's the tail!

Jeff: I'm sure it's around here somewhere.

Britta: The tail section broke off in the air! That must have been the crunching noise I heard!

Jeff: When did that happen?

Britta: my laptop bag knocked you out… MY LAPTOP! It's brand new! Jeff, Abed help me go find it!

Abed: What about Pierce?

Britta: Pierce can take care of himself.

Jeff: Yah, until he has to eat. Now common Abed, we can find Troy on the way.

Boone (running up): Any of you have any pens?

SET. Crash sight of the tail section.

[Shirley's lying unconscious in the ocean; Annie's trying to pull her to the land, but she can't find her footing]

Annie (panting): Common … Shirley… wake up! I don't think… I can swim…. And my arm hurts!

Eko: Miss.

Annie: What! (Struggling in the water)

Eko: Miss. Do you need some help?

Annie: Does it look like I need help!

[Eko grabs Shirley and Annie and takes them to shore]

Annie (very tired): Thank… you…

Eko (to Ana Lucia): Miss, do you know CPR?

[Ana Lucia nods]

Annie: I know CPR!

Eko: Yes, but you're nearly dead on your feet. Get some rest and this nice lady will take care of your friend.

Annie: I am nineteen. There is no need to talk to me like I'm ten.

[Eko ignores her and dives back into the sea; Ana Lucia crawls over to Shirley; Annie curls up next to Shirley and starts crying]

Ana Lucia (awkwardly): Don't cry, girlie. You're friend will be all right.

[Shirley starts coughing up water; Annie sits up; Ana Lucia runs over to Eko]

Shirley (weakly): Oh… hello Annie.

Annie (sobbing): Shirley! Shirley!

[Troy runs up with a bag; he's soaking wet]

Troy: Annie! Annie! Are you and Shirley okay?

Annie: We're fine Troy. What about you?

Troy: Fine. My hand's bleeding and so is my forehead, but I've had worse.

Shirley: When…?

[Night; the Tailies are sitting around a campfire; Cindy walks up to Shirley, Troy, and Annie with Emma and Zach]

Cindy (to Shirley): Ma'am? Can you watch these two, while I go find some firewood?

Shirley: Of course I can. I'm Shirley.

Cindy: I'm Cindy. Thank you so much, I don't want to bring them into jungle with me. This is Emma (puts hand on Emma's head) and her younger brother Zach (puts hand on Zach's head).

Shirley: Pleased to meet you.

Cindy (running into the woods with Ana Lucia and Eko): I'll come get them later!

SET. Night; Crash sight of the middle section.

[Several campfires are scattered around the beach; Jeff, Britta, Abed, Pierce, Claire, Charlie, and Hurley are all seated around near the center; Britta is wiping some blood off Abed's face]

Britta (softly): I'm sure we'll find Troy and the others soon.

Abed: I'm not worried about them. I'm worried about us.

Jeff: Why would you be worried about us? We just fell out of the sky and all.

Abed (puts up a finger): Wait for it…

[Loud mechanical noises start coming out of the jungle]

Abed: Bang…

* * *

**a/n: Based of a dream I had of the Study Group sitting around a campfire on an island. **

**Yeah weird I know, but wanted to try writing in a screenplay or whatever you call these, and I'm not going to do it again, so any other chapters I add will be written in story form.**

**I'm actually kinda disappointed with this, the Tailie scenes especially, but oh well! **

**Have fun reading! **


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